"How lucky am I to be exhausted by being so active....."

28th August 2015

Day 0+316 days 

It's been more than 10 months!

On Saturday night we were in a rush to get to a school concert Isabelle was performing in and had to make a quick stop at the bank.  I jumped out of the car and did a little jog to the ATM in my little heeled boots, smiling and feeling quite pleased with myself.  When I hopped back into the car Paul said the kids were commenting on how well I was moving – Seb (11) says “Mum, you have so much more enthusiasm than you did before you went to Russia”, Isabelle (14) says “That’s because she’s not grumpy and exhausted all the time!”

Crazy Hair Day!

How our life has changed in the last 12 months, it’s still hard to grasp and every day I’m thankful for how much I’ve improved. 

They say that it takes up to 2 years to see the full results of treatment and then that will be your new baseline.  I’m hopeful to continue on the path I’m on and I’m doing the best I can to become as strong as I can.  I've finished rehab now and I can't thank the people enough who helped get me to this strong position I am now in.  I'm so lucky to have found people who care and I mean genuinely care!

So this time last year I spent most days sitting on the couch and expending my energy on what I needed to make sure the kids where fed, clothed, to school on time and happy.  Mum would take the washing a lot of the time if it looked piled up (which was often). She’d take it home and bring it back, folded & ironed, as well as striping and making the beds.  I would do grocery shopping online, (which I still do as it’s just so dam convenient) and Paul would pick up the fresh fruit and veg (or mum & dad would!).  If Paul wasn’t at work or away he would do all the driving around of the kids, especially on weekends and evenings.  I also had a cleaner.  Paul had stopped travelling as much for work, Paul would do kitchen clean up at night and most of the time tuck the kids into bed as it was too much effort for me to go up and down the stairs.  We’d stopped socialising as much as we once had and just spent most time at home.  We were still happy, thank goodness Paul loves me as it wasn’t much fun in his shoes that’s for sure!

And now...  some of the things I’m doing!

• Cleaning the house (I’m not the best at it but it feels good to be able to!)
• Doing all my own washing and ironing – (mum says she feels redundant but I think it’s great she can just come and visit now without having to do everything!)
• 2 Pilates sessions per week - with physio care
• Joined the gym
• Swimming twice a week, 50 laps each time (25m pool, don’t get excited!)
• Engaged a Personal Trainer and had my first training session, I’ll do this twice a week
• Jumping in the car to drive the kids when Paul has been at home!
• Buying the fruit & veg from our local market (this one is not good for the household expenses though especially if I pop in there hungry like today!!)
• Feeling like I can cope if Paul needs to travel for work.
• Walking the dogs with Paul and the kids – not strong enough to hold 2 crazy Labradors at an almost combined weight of 60kg’s
• 10km rides on the stationary exercise bike
• 3km walks on the treadmill
• Entertaining!
• We had a weekend away to a National Park and I was able to hike with the kids and go on a flying fox.  Couldn’t bring myself to climb the ladder up for a treetop view, not sure if that was to do with strength or fear though maybe a bit of both!

I still get tired at times but it’s so very different from the debilitating fatigue I used to get.  The tired I get now is usually self inflicted from overdoing it over a couple of days or I don’t cope well with late nights and since my body clock generally wakes around 6am staying up late doesn’t really work for me.

“How lucky am I to be exhausted by being so active instead of being exhausted after just getting the kids off to school” – my little saying to myself.

My body is still not perfect and it may never be, I still have some weakness, numbness and tingling but that’s okay because what it is now is nothing short of bloody amazing from where it was before HSCT.

Somewhere in my first blogs I explained the way I felt about the title “Be Strong,Be Brave, Be You” and that I felt I was both Strong and Brave as I had to be but it was the You part of it I was struggling with.  Well I have to say that I’m finally feeling like me again so “Be You” feels like it’s happening and that fills my heart with so much hope for the future..  I was going to say it makes me want to sing from the rooftops but my family & friends who know me well would immediately scream “DON’T” – oh yes, my singing is THAT BAD!!

So to finish I just have to say..... I’m Loving Living Life again!!
xx

Seb started ice skating so now I can make use of my jacket
here in Queensland, thinking I might try it soon!!