And I wake up and I know it's gonna be, it's gonna be another ISO day for me!!

Day 23

(Day 0+5)

I wake up with all these thoughts flying through my head and I want to get them down as quick as I can, whether they make sense or not..  As you know I'm always writing about the day before so sometimes it's hard as the new blur with the old and I feel quite differently from one day to the next.  I had planned to write as soon as I awoke this morning but ended up chatting to mum on FaceTime which was great, always lots to talk to my mum about x

Yesterday I was tired, really, really tired, and the emotional toll was running through me again.  Hadn't had a good nights sleep, my bad probably as I wake every couple of hours, check out the internet, never a good thing for broken sleep, get random texts as I don't like to turn my phone off - Always good to have gym membership check in as "they want me back" or the pet store letting me know they have 20% of for a few days!  Doesn't bother me, the normality of things like that are great..  Oh and my daughters school has an app and notices pop up on activities and I love keeping up with it all.

Thinking about what I'm going to be able to do when I kick this MS out of town is always on the mind as well..  

Coming into HSCT the main goal for us all is to HALT our MS in it's tracks so that we don't progress and that will of course be AMAZING! 

But..... I plan to follow in the footsteps of some greatness before me and hopefully make some leaps and bounds in improvement as well - I'm not going to be unrealistic about it and it will be baby steps and a long road to recovery but I'm HOPEFUL and POSITIVE and they've got to be the most important things that you need.

I looked out at the snow yesterday, what a beautiful sight that was and I said to Dr F, I'm going to ski one day - he said "I want to see a picture of that!"  High Heels, I know you've heard me mention are one thing I can't do but love and it’s really not that important but once you can’t you want!  Well I saw a photo of one of the HSCT veterans "Amy goes Ninja" who was here a couple of years ago and she was strutting some heals, how awesome is that!  I know we'll all be different and I’ll do things in my own time.

Time with my family and friends, special times is what I want..  I’ve had lots of photo’s being sent on messages and I just love getting them everyday..  Photo’s of the street, quotes that mean so much, old photo’s of fun times..  I have so many people in my life that I am blessed to have.  I think I may have reclused a little over the last couple of years as it always felt just to hard to make the effort to do things, be organised, drag my body around but I miss those things and I have plans, maybe distant plans once this body catches up but I’m 42, I want to live a full rich life!

Man I can really prattle on..  Maybe it’s to vodka bath seeping through my system!!

Paul visited through my window a couple of times today and brought me some extra treats!..  Love seeing him although not easy for him seeing me and I know he wants to lean in and give me a big hug and kiss as do I, it’s also hard to talk as we have to yell through the door so easier for him to FaceTime me from the couch outside.  He has, although, become quite well known around the hospital with the International patients..  Welcoming them and showing them the ropes, I always thought it would be me making the bonds of life but I think he has made some amazing friends and is helping everyone with getting used to the routine of hospital life which I think they are finding invaluable..  Lovely people arriving, I actually had a FaceTime with them from upstairs to downstairs so got to meet them all..

Paul is one in a million, I only hope he knows how much I love him and how my life would not be complete without him!

The day goes by again with the fluids, bloods, injections, washing room, washing body...  Waiting, waiting to see when that hair might start to fall, that will be exciting!

Hanging out with my girls!

Another big dinner chat with the kids over Face Time always makes my day.
Movie Night – Sex and The City 2 – now I know it was not a favourite of even some diehards but I still love it none the less...  The clothes, the jewellery, the extravagance, just love it!  I nearly pulled out my gorgeous new earrings to wear while watching girls but they are tucked away at the moment, thought it would have made you laugh with my bald head and extra neck accessories!!

More from ISO tomorrow...